Garoben

Garoben is the teacher everyone fears getting when they're young. She can turn her hands into giant axes, and she hurls test paper razors at you!


Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury and the kids at Crystal Seminar

Ami is a quiet girl who is minding her own business when the world decides to take a dump on her. People make fun of her because she's very smart, and even the Youma of the day gets curt with her because she likes to study without using software. JEBUS give the kid a break!

There's a ton of students at Crystal Seminar cram school that end up turning into zombies thanks to the energy-sucking disks.

image010First appearance of Sailor Mercury.

DiC censored a few scenes in 1995. See the episode recap for details.

 

There's a few Quirkalicious moments in today's episode. I'll screencap them as they pop up.

 

I love Sailor Moon's reaction when Luna is proven wrong about Ami. There's some great comedy in the whole episode!

Act 2

Check the bonus section for a little in-joke regarding Codename Sailor V!

Guardians who appear but do not help in battle:

Total Guardians:
 
Final Blow from:

 

 

Fair warning, I'll be pointing out some of DiC's unnecessary cuts and censors throughout this recap.

The episode begins in Queen Beryl's lair, where she and Jadeite are talking about how crazy hard parents push their children in school.

Beryl and Jadeite can't quite figure out what all the fuss is about with school, but Jadeite plans to nab that type of energy from the students. Beryl gives him permission to proceed.

Meanwhile, Usagi is reading "Ga-ruzu" (Girls) monthly and laughing her ass off.

Usagi tries to share the joke with her mom, but Ikuko quickly reminds her about her homework. And there goes any hope of mother-daughter bonding, right there. Weird this, see the above picture? DiC actually censored this out of their cut of the episode. Why? It's just a teardrop!!

Usagi tries to assure Ikuko that she'll get right on it, to wit Ikuko drops a guilt trip on her, asking her not to be a bad student. Usagi cries, saying that if there's a top of the class, there must be a bottom, and it's hardest on the kid at the bottom whose grades suck. Ikuko laments that with Usagi's grades, she's the one who should be crying, not Usagi. Usagi stops crying.

Back in her room, Usagi is being scolded by Luna for not getting her grades up. Usagi fakes doing her homework while actually reading manga, pissing off Luna.

Luna scolds her about not working hard enough at being Sailor Moon or looking for the Moon Princess, to wit Usagi reminds her she never asked for this job. She asks Luna what kind of monsters the Youma are, and Luna's like "I dunno". Can you imagine this?? "Hey, 14 year old, go fight monsters for me. What kind of monsters? Um I dunnoooooooo just do it!" I'm amazed Usagi hasn't kicked her from the balcony yet. By the way, the above screencap was censored out of the DiC dub as well. Why? I have no idea. Maybe Usagi with black eyes is creepy?

Later that night, Luna quietly enters the arcade to access the Sailor V Game. She complains that she doesn't feel like Usagi's doing enough, and the machine scolds her for whining. Good.

Luna uses the touch-screen (this is 1992, yes, we had a few of them back then) to bring up an image of 14 year old Ami Mizuno. The two agree that she may be a monster. Nice judgement there.

The next day, everyone is marveling that the new girl in school has the highest grades and an IQ of 300. Umino spouts that last part off after sneaking up from behind, prompting Naru to punch him right on the top of his head. HOLY CRAP mean much??

Ami is literally minding her own business, starring out of the window. The kids mention that only the rich can go to the Crystal Seminar Cram School where Ami attends, but Ami is there on a scholarship. Suddenly, the unnamed fat girl from a few episodes back starts spreading rumors about Ami having an attitude, purely out of jealousy. Naru actually plays along with the bullying, and then Umino joins in. Do I have to point out WHY Usagi needs new friends?

Usagi chooses not to buy into the bullying, and notices that Ami is overhearing the nasty comments. Usagi tries to change the subject about the weather, so the teasing will stop, but Ami is already upset.

After school, Usagi laments that she wishes she was a smarter kid. She envisions her mother strangling her with a dog collar and whipping her over her bad grades. YIKES! This was another censored scene in the DiC version. Suddenly, Usagi sees Luna about to jump Ami.

AAA!! Ami got so scared by Luna, it deformed her whole freaking face!!

Luna is suspicious of Ami, but Ami thinks Luna is adorable. Usagi comes to apologize about Luna and the two start chatting as they walk.

D'awwwwwww isn't Ami adorable here? Ami figures out that Luna means "Moon". Let's think about this a minute. Usagi is Sailor MOON. Her cat's name means MOON. How exactly are we not figuring out she's the MOON princess again?

Usagi plans to use her new friendship with Ami to get good grades. I was just about to champion the kid for making friends in spite of Ami being picked on and then..

Are we… we're not noticing the cat is whispering out in public, right? We're just gonna let that happen, right?

Usagi starts laughing and then pat-smacking Luna.

And then OMG are you punching your cat??

OMG you're smothering her!!

I'm not sure what's more alarming, watching Usagi smother and hit Luna, or knowing that Ami is just watching all of this like "Oh, you're abusing your cat. Whatevs."

usagi takes all her cat killing frustration out on the Sailor V game.

HEY!! That's not the right costume!!

Ami takes over and SON OF A BITCH Sailor V is packing HEAT!!

Ami blows away Usagi's score and takes the lead as a bunch of dudes start hovering over the girls…. Getting a little rapey here, guys.

FINISH PAINTING YOUR EYES!!

Motoki appears just before Ami has to rush off, leaving an angry mob screaming at her score.

Ami drops her pencil case and Usagi picks it up for her. Ami tells Usagi she has to go to cram school every day.

After Ami leaves, Motoki hands Usagi a floppy disk Ami dropped on the way out. For those who don't know, before we had USB Flash Drives and the Cloud, we had floppy disks. The original floppies were giant, black and flopped back and forth when you waived them, while the 90's version were thick plastic, came in different colors, had labels you could stick on and write on and were a little more than one-quarter the size of their 1980's predecessors. Most of the data was stored on the metal parts Motoki's greasy-assed hand is smearing all over, meaning that in a real world setting, the dirt from the floor plus his oily hands would have rendered the disk glitchy, but for the sake of the storyline, this disk is clean and ready to run. This version is called a 3˝-inch floppy or Micro diskette.  (This is Micro??) The average HD Floppy of this size could only hold up to 1.44 MBs of data. In comparison, an SD Card can hold 2 or more GBs. I'm pretty sure some of the graphics used in this review would have swallowed that thing whole.

By the way, in Sailor Moon Crystal, the program is on a CD-ROM. A CD-ROM can hold 700MBs of data. If Ami's 1992 school program was able to fit on a floppy holding only 1.44 MBs, what the hell did they use to fill the rest of the disc with?? That's 698.56 MBs of empty space!!

Well while I was off in Geekland, the Youma of the day was making fun of her drained students piling in at the Crystal Seminar.

After the break, Ami has discovered she's lost her disk. The teacher pats her on the back and reminds her to use it, also reminding her of the fact she's on a scholarship.

Outside, Usagi tries to return the disk, but Mamoru shows up to poke fun at her. The above screencap is yet another DiC messed with.

Mamoru states that he heard Luna talking, freaking them both out. Usagi insists cats can't talk, and she tries to get away.

I don’t know why, but DiC censored out this screencap too. Why??

And they cut this one out too. Why??

Luna says she wants to inspect the disk before giving it back to Ami. Usagi tells Luna she doesn't know how to use a computer. In 1992, this was a normal statement. In today's world, that's inexcusable. Fortunately, Luna is computer savvy. Whose computer even is this? I don't know. Maybe there's a Kinko's in Japan?

Luna gets the blue screen of death along with a high pitched squeal, followed by a male voice asking for the listener's energy.

FINISH DRAWING YOUR LOCKET!!

Luna and Usagi head back to Crystal Seminar, where Usagi uses the Luna Pen to become a university doctor.

Upon entry, usagi finds that all of the students not named Ami look half-dead.

Usagi accuses Ami of being the enemy and transforms. But while Ami is shocked, Garoben appears and holds her hostage.

Sailor Moon calls out Luna for being wrong, and Luna's just like "oh that's weird" taking NO responsibility at all.

Garoben starts asking Sailor Moon questions about gravity. When she can't answer correctly, she gets pelted with test paper razors.

When she can't pass the second question, Garoben sends the zombified teenagers after Sailor Moon.

Garoben tries to force Ami to send her energy through the computer, but nothing works. Garoben figures out this is because Ami doesn't use the disk. Ami confirms, saying you should learn without machines. (That will change in future episodes.) The mark of Mercury appears on her forehead in bright green and with a heart inside of it. Why? Maybe they thought this was cuter.

Realizing her mistake, Luna brings out Ami's pen, puts it in her mouth and races towards her. Yeah look at the animation. LUNA HAS NO POCKETS!! Where did it come from??

Garoben turns her arm into an axe and is about to chop up Ami when Luna yells to her and flings her pen.

Wipe it off, kid!!

Ami becomes Sailor Mercury, just as the zombified teens start pulling at Sailor Moon.

Mercury uses Bubble Spray (Shabon Spray) to create a fog, throwing Garoben off.

Garoben is freezing as the zombified teens collapse. An image of Mercury with THE WRONG GEM appears in a monitor. Garoben stabs the monitor, getting stuck, not realizing it was a reflection.

This distraction lasts long enough for Sailor Moon to use Moon Tiara Action, disintegrating Garoben alive.

With Garoben gone, the kids start returning to normal human status as Luna informs Ami that she is now Sailor Mercury. By the way, the strips on her boots? They will alternate between blue and white for the rest of the series. And her hair? It's supposed to be blue, but it will look green and teal off and on until at least SuperS. And yes, this drives me insane.

Outside, Luna apologizes for mistaking Ami for being a monster. Usagi makes a slight, polite bow, which was cut from the DiC version.

This scene was also cut from DiC though later re-appeared in some broadcasts.

Usagi and Ami officially become friends and promise to make a good team.


(Manga scan courtesy of
Miss Dream.) Today, Usagi used the pen to turn into a university doctor so she could infiltrate Ami's cram school. As you can see, in Sailor Moon Crystal and in the manga, Usagi is wearing a flirty tunic, while in the 1992 anime, she's wearing a wholly different costume. Today, she has a pea green dress, covered by a white lab coat, and weird gold and seafoam/aqua heels with her hair cut Hotaru-length. While the dress is a bit short, this outfit is much less flirty than the original, and just slightly more age-appropriate for 14 year old Usagi.

BONUS
We're getting some manga references today!

For starters, Luna's username is "Codename 0091". This is in reference to the Codename Sailor V manga, which debuted in 1991. But did you also catch her password?

Passcode: The rabbit on the moon pounds rice into mochi. The Moon mochi is sticky. It turned bubbly on the grill.

Usagi Tsukino when translated into English means "Rabbit on the Moon" so in the first place, not only is Usagi Sailor MOON but MOON is half of her last name, making literally every single character searching for the MOON princess really stupid in that they never put this together.

Also, think about her family for just a moment. "Tsuki No" is loosely translated as "On the Moon" with Tsuki meaning "Moon". Let's break down a few names. I'm even throwing in a few DiC names on the bottom.

Character Name

First name meaning

Translation

Kenji Tsukino

Twice as Wise

Twice as Wise on the Moon

Ikuko Tsukino

Raised Child

Raised Child On the Moon

Usagi Tsukino

Rabbit/Bunny

Rabbit on the Moon

Shingo Tsukino

My Humility

My Humility on the Moon

Luna Tsukino

The Moon

The Moon on the Moon

Chibiusa Tsukino

Small Rabbit/Bunny

Small Rabbit on the Moon

Kousagi Tsukino

Little Rabbit/Bunny

Little Rabbit on the Moon

Serenity Tsukino

Peaceful Disposition

Peaceful Disposition on the Moon

Serena Tsukino

Serene

Serene on the Moon

Rini Tsukino

Little Bunny

Little Bunny on the Moon

Usagi's name also comes from various folklore about there being a rabbit on the moon, pounding mochi.  Mochi is a sticky-sweet rice cake, made by pounding mochigome short rice into a paste and then molding it into a nice, round shape. Traditionally, it's made by steaming the rice after an overnight drying and then pounding it with a giant mortar and pestle, but there are quicker, more modern ways to make it with machines. For certain holidays, it's serves with a red bean paste center, and a pink version called "Sakura Mochi" can be served with a triangular leaf, matching Chibiusa's hairstyle.

Hey speaking of Chibiusa, what is Codename Sailor V doing wearing Chibiusa's summer uniform and Sailor Uranus's boots? Another note, when this first aired in the US in 1995, DiC censored the crap out of this scene. Just take a look, images are courtesy of Sailor Moon Uncensored, one of my favorite websites of all time:

https://www.smuncensored.com/images/screencaps/ep008-s7.jpg

https://www.smuncensored.com/images/screencaps/ep008-d2.jpg

https://www.smuncensored.com/images/screencaps/ep008-s8.jpg

https://www.smuncensored.com/images/screencaps/ep008-d3.jpg

https://www.smuncensored.com/images/screencaps/ep008-d1.jpg

NONE of the edits make any sense, but then that was DiC for you. They were so pointless and reckless back then. Each of these changes COST them money, and again, they weren't censoring out anything that needed to be cut. Even Sailor V's gun is left 100% alone in the censored cuts, so why even bother if you're not going to chop the gun out? Oddly, the DiC edit adds more insults towards Ami and Usagi, making the show less kid-friendly in an effort to make it more kid-friendly. Counterproductive much?
https://67.media.tumblr.com/bdc735e9bf5bd4bbde0f51746b4ff66f/tumblr_inline_o7jgel3GF91ra5fyy_500.gif
Did you ever want to know how Hotaru would look as a blonde? Well Usagi just made your dream come true. Check it out! Her hair is just slightly longer than Hotaru's.

I bet you're already thinking about teen Hotaru.

You know, it really bothers me that Tuxedo Mask wasn't seen in this episode. Oh sure, we got snotty Mamoru again, but in the manga (this screencap belongs to Miss dream) there's a cute segment where Tuxedo Mask helps Sailor Moon do her first ever Sailor Moon Kick attack, based on the Sailor V kick of course. It's an attack Sailor Moon uses later on, and it's a real shame we didn't get to see this. I know the Toei team at the time hated him, and let's be honest, this looks less romantic and more like a dad helping his kid kick, but still.

Even in Crystal, sure he saves Sailor Moon from being killed, but she ends up attacking on her own. Maybe this is a good change though, as both anime titles had the girls being self-sufficient.

Or maybe we're better off not seeing his hand go up that skirt. SHE'S 14 YOU ASSHOLE!!

Follow me back to the Battle Record!
Follow me to the next episode!
Follow me back to the previous episode!
Follow me back to Moon Sisters!